My therapist posed the question to me once, “Would you rather be right, or happy?” and I have thought about it ever since. At the end of the day, I’d rather be happy. Our desire to be right, to win arguments, or impose our beliefs and values on to others is contributing to the ‘us vs. them’ mentality so prevalent in today’s society – especially in the U.S.A. where I live. This week I discuss…
In KEW Episode 4 I discuss how hard it is for us to be quiet despite how important mindfulness and meditation are in our lives. We are so easily distracted. For example, I can hardly control my smartphone use and constantly use it as a distraction from being bored. At least I guess that’s what I’m doing. I will continue to develop the idea that we humans don’t do well with ‘down time’ and continually…
Time is our most valuable resource and is inherently limited by our lifespan. If we’re lucky, we get maybe 70 or 80 years worth of time. And the tragedy is . . . for most of that span we think time is infinite. Personally, I didn’t appreciate time until I was in my mid 40s when I started needing reading glasses and realized I was aging. Now I think about it every day. I have…
You know how there are things you KNOW to be true, but are SO HARD to actually do that you feel SHAME about NOT doing them? Like dieting, exercise, meditation. . . . TIME is one of those things for me because of the truism: “If something is a priority, you will MAKE time for it. No matter how busy you are”. It’s just true. Or, how about people who say they’re ‘so busy’. Isn’t…
How can we achieve a more equitable society if some people play by the rules and others ‘bend’ the rules to suit them? Loopholes and shortcuts have become the American Way of high achievement, but is it fair? Should we all exploit these shortcuts to get ahead? Or should the shortcuts be mediated by the government or some other ‘agency’? Or, can we just educate everyone to be able to take advantage of shortcuts so…
I hear a lot, from my therapist, other researchers, and articles, that many of us complain that we feel ‘different’ or ‘other’ in the context of our immediate communities of friends and families. Here I argue that, doesn’t feeling different unite us somehow? Also, that being different is the secret to success for the human race – diversity is the key to evolution! How do we re-contextualize this pervasive feeling to be a superpower rather…
This week I discuss something my therapist told me. I was explaining to her how I have always felt ‘other’, ‘different’, or ‘apart from’ whatever community I’ve been a part of – to varying degrees. She told me that nearly every person she has ever counseled says the same thing. So . . . if we all feel different, doesn’t that UNITE us? Why aren’t we talking about this? This week, I do. Preview on…
You are Enough. Many of us suffer from feeling ‘not good enough’. Whether it’s not good enough at work, with your spouse, as a parent . . . feeling this way sets us up for anxiety and low self-esteem. Feeling not good enough is probably the greatest cause of my personal suffering. And the solution, we believe, is to simply try harder and that one day we will be ‘enough’, and then be happy. Kind…
Most of us have some kind of addiction. Whether it’s something as benign as Diet Coke, or as life threatening as heroin, we can relate to the pull of being addicted to something. Much of what we talk about addiction is related to the biological or physiological nature. Here I discuss the more psychological aspects of my own addiction to nicotine, talk about childhood loveys and security blankets, and venture toward the concept of Buddhist…
I think everyone is addicted to something. Some of us are lucky and we’re addicted to something that probably won’t kill us. Like Diet soda. Some have real problems with life threatening addictions like fentanyl or heroin. Some people are addicted to working or even sex. Whatever your addiction I hope you get something of this episode. My main addiction is nicotine. I smoked for about ten years, switched to dip, and have been chewing…