KEW Preview Episode 23: Who’s Right?

My therapist posed the question to me once, “Would you rather be right, or happy?” and I have thought about it ever since. At the end of the day, I’d rather be happy.

Our desire to be right, to win arguments, or impose our beliefs and values on to others is contributing to the ‘us vs. them’ mentality so prevalent in today’s society – especially in the U.S.A. where I live.

This week I discuss how to deal with this situation and ask you for your input.

Preview video here:

Full episode this Friday

Flashback to Episode 4: Quiet vs Distraction

In KEW Episode 4 I discuss how hard it is for us to be quiet despite how important mindfulness and meditation are in our lives.

We are so easily distracted. For example, I can hardly control my smartphone use and constantly use it as a distraction from being bored. At least I guess that’s what I’m doing.

I will continue to develop the idea that we humans don’t do well with ‘down time’ and continually seek distractions from the quietness.

Even though the quiet is what is likely to heal us. It just doesn’t make sense.

Preview video here:

Full Episode links here:

KEW Episode 22: Time

Time is our most valuable resource and is inherently limited by our lifespan. If we’re lucky, we get maybe 70 or 80 years worth of time. And the tragedy is . . . for most of that span we think time is infinite. Personally, I didn’t appreciate time until I was in my mid 40s when I started needing reading glasses and realized I was aging. Now I think about it every day. I have become acutely aware of how little time I have left.

So how do we get more time? We budget better.

We think we have no time. But the truth is (and this hurts, I know) that we do. Myself, I am not very good about managing my time. I know WHAT to do, but I can’t habitualize DOING IT. 

This week I offer the advice I’ve been given about how to prioritize your needs and ensure you MAKE the TIME to meet those needs.

Podcast download here (or subscribe to KEW at Apple Podcasts, Amazon Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, and more):

Youtube video here:

KEW Preview Episode 22: Time

You know how there are things you KNOW to be true, but are SO HARD to actually do that you feel SHAME about NOT doing them? Like dieting, exercise, meditation. . . .

TIME is one of those things for me because of the truism: “If something is a priority, you will MAKE time for it. No matter how busy you are”. It’s just true.

Or, how about people who say they’re ‘so busy’. Isn’t that annoying? But we all do it. Because we’re ALL TOO BUSY.

But we’re also just really, really poor planners. Also we worry more about the negative things than the positive ones.

Preview here or on facebook, instagram, or twitter (BTW, follow KEW on one or more of those and you’ll see them in your feed:)) or here:

Flashback to Episode 3: Gaming the System

How can we achieve a more equitable society if some people play by the rules and others ‘bend’ the rules to suit them? Loopholes and shortcuts have become the American Way of high achievement, but is it fair? Should we all exploit these shortcuts to get ahead? Or should the shortcuts be mediated by the government or some other ‘agency’?

Or, can we just educate everyone to be able to take advantage of shortcuts so that everyone games the system? Wouldn’t this effectively render the system ‘un-gameable’?

Not sure what the answer is, but I lay out a few ideas and suggestions and ask for your comments.

Preview on facebook here:

Full Episode page here:

KEW Episode 21: We All Feel Different (But We’re All the Same)

I hear a lot, from my therapist, other researchers, and articles, that many of us complain that we feel ‘different’ or ‘other’ in the context of our immediate communities of friends and families. Here I argue that, doesn’t feeling different unite us somehow? Also, that being different is the secret to success for the human race – diversity is the key to evolution! How do we re-contextualize this pervasive feeling to be a superpower rather than a weakness? How do we use this ‘suffering’ for the greater good? Here I share a few ideas and suggest that we need to utilize these special differences to make the world a better place.

So let’s ORGANIZE and share our differences. Let’s transform our shame into pride and realize that we have been doing this all wrong. Our differences UNITE us TOGETHER and will carry us into a more positive future.

Podcast from your favorite podcast host or direct download here:

Youtube video here:

KEW Preview Episode 21: We All Feel Different (But We’re the Same)

This week I discuss something my therapist told me. I was explaining to her how I have always felt ‘other’, ‘different’, or ‘apart from’ whatever community I’ve been a part of – to varying degrees. She told me that nearly every person she has ever counseled says the same thing. So . . . if we all feel different, doesn’t that UNITE us? Why aren’t we talking about this?

This week, I do.

Preview on my facebook and instagram:

KEW Episode 20: Enough

When asked how much is enough, John D. Rockefeller famously replied, “Just a little more”. We’ve all thought this about some things. Whether it’s losing ‘enough’ weight, making ‘enough’ money, being loved ‘enough’ we all (mistakenly) believe that if we get ‘enough’ of ‘whatever’, we’ll be ‘happy’. And since a lot of us either want many things, or aren’t sure which things we want the most, we tend to maximize ‘enough toward everything’. So we end up chasing many ‘enoughs’ and, even if we get them, we (amazingly) aren’t happy.

Here I discuss the Law of Diminishing Returns (or Cost/Benefit Analysis) as a metric to learn that ‘enough’ is less than we think. And I use this ‘rule’ to help prioritize my life and focus on what things I need to maximize, and how to be efficient about it so I have enough energy left over for all the other stuff.

Podcast at your favorite podcast host or download here:

Youtube video here:

Thanks for reading/listening/watching and, remember to comment or like so we can illustrate that word-of-mouth can actually build communities!

KEW Preview Episode 20: Enough

You are Enough. Many of us suffer from feeling ‘not good enough’. Whether it’s not good enough at work, with your spouse, as a parent . . . feeling this way sets us up for anxiety and low self-esteem. Feeling not good enough is probably the greatest cause of my personal suffering. And the solution, we believe, is to simply try harder and that one day we will be ‘enough’, and then be happy. Kind of like the Giving Tree. But, in truth, if we are thinking and feeling this way, we are already enough – we just don’t see it.

Preview here:

Full episode coming Friday.

KEW Episode 19: Addiction

Most of us have some kind of addiction. Whether it’s something as benign as Diet Coke, or as life threatening as heroin, we can relate to the pull of being addicted to something. Much of what we talk about addiction is related to the biological or physiological nature. Here I discuss the more psychological aspects of my own addiction to nicotine, talk about childhood loveys and security blankets, and venture toward the concept of Buddhist suffering.

Podcast audio here: or via Stitcher, Apple Podcast, Google Play, Spotify, etc.

Youtube video here: