Differential healing in relationships Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash Self-help is a funny thing. It both defines and sickens me. While I firmly believe the only healthy growth is the personal kind, I also wish I could leave it alone. Sometimes, I secretly envy the rugged hypermasculine individuals who cry ‘woke’ and…
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Sailing in the Shadow of the Buddha
A brief summary of a life-changing epic tale Our shared dream started before the pandemic. I wanted my wife to quit her soul-crushing job in medicine, she wanted adventure. We could do something different once our third daughter graduated. We decided to sell everything and live on a boat. We…
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Creativity, Imposter Syndrome, and Not Having Language to Describe Who You Are
No one teaches us that we can be different; we just are I’m wrestling with something and need help. Maybe you are, too. Maybe you can help me. Maybe we can all help each other. Backstory I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I went to college over…
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Not Taking Things Personally Is the Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Tried to Do
But it may be the most rewarding skill we can learn I’ve been ‘in therapy’ for almost two decades. For about one-third of my life, I have sought help from others to heal my emotional wounds. I’m not weird or special. According to SAMHSA, over 50 million Americans received mental health…
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I Wish I Had a Ticket to Ride
A Beatle’s song and a dream of freedom Like many gen-Xers, the Beatles were my introduction to music. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band was my first meaningful musical experience and changed my life. The album (yes, my early moments were with my parent’s vinyl) remains one of my top…
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Inventions Other Mother
Playfulness and curiosity in Natural Selection “Necessity is the mother of invention” While we don’t know who first said it, many people have. Surely you have heard this phrase, if not used it. This quote means that urgency induces creativity. When humans need something, we search harder for solutions. It…
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How Did I Get Here?
In the bottom of this hole Has it been that long? Have you ever gotten a glimpse of reality that disagreed with whatever truth you thought was real? I feel like I have been surrounded by darkness, gaslighting myself into believing it was the weather. The climate. Where I lived….
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A Stand of Trees Does Not a Forest Make
A system is more than its parts During my dissertation defense, I got into a mild argument with one of my committee members. He was a GIS remote sensing technologist, I was a tree-hugging hippie ecologist. The disagreement centered around how many 30 x 30 meter (this was the early…
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How Do I Connect With Oblivion?
Building community in an individualistic world I talk a lot about community Sangha, in Buddhist teachings. I long to be a member of meaningful communities. I want to belong. I beat up on the rugged individualists and condone their self-serving greed. As pretentious as I might be about my relative…
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What It’s Like Being a Male Homemaker
I don’t deserve flowers Seahorses, am I right? You know, the male carries the newly hatched offspring in his pouch. We think it’s great when the dad steps in and participates in the parenting. “What a guy!” we say. “That’s amazing!” “Look at that dad alone with his kids!” Being…