Fellow humans, your shortsightedness is showing One of the downsides to human evolution is that we’re not very good at seeing things from outside our perspective. Simultaneously, we struggle to live in the moment, spending most of our time worrying about the past or the future. We are in our…
Tag: evolution
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A Codependency Manifesto
What loving yourself really means. We’ve all heard it. To love someone else, you have to love yourself first. I can’t tell you how many times this has been said to me in therapy. I even conducted a lengthy podcast interview series, and nearly every guest said the same thing. …
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Not Taking Things Personally Is the Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Tried to Do
But it may be the most rewarding skill we can learn I’ve been ‘in therapy’ for almost two decades. For about one-third of my life, I have sought help from others to heal my emotional wounds. I’m not weird or special. According to SAMHSA, over 50 million Americans received mental health…
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I Wish I Had a Ticket to Ride
A Beatle’s song and a dream of freedom Like many gen-Xers, the Beatles were my introduction to music. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band was my first meaningful musical experience and changed my life. The album (yes, my early moments were with my parent’s vinyl) remains one of my top…
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Inventions Other Mother
Playfulness and curiosity in Natural Selection “Necessity is the mother of invention” While we don’t know who first said it, many people have. Surely you have heard this phrase, if not used it. This quote means that urgency induces creativity. When humans need something, we search harder for solutions. It…
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A Stand of Trees Does Not a Forest Make
A system is more than its parts During my dissertation defense, I got into a mild argument with one of my committee members. He was a GIS remote sensing technologist, I was a tree-hugging hippie ecologist. The disagreement centered around how many 30 x 30 meter (this was the early…
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How Do I Connect With Oblivion?
Building community in an individualistic world I talk a lot about community Sangha, in Buddhist teachings. I long to be a member of meaningful communities. I want to belong. I beat up on the rugged individualists and condone their self-serving greed. As pretentious as I might be about my relative…
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What It’s Like Being a Male Homemaker
I don’t deserve flowers Seahorses, am I right? You know, the male carries the newly hatched offspring in his pouch. We think it’s great when the dad steps in and participates in the parenting. “What a guy!” we say. “That’s amazing!” “Look at that dad alone with his kids!” Being…
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Rules Need to Make Sense
Sensibility governs justice Have you ever been to Australia? I was fortunate to visit for two weeks with my wife and youngest daughter. My takeaway? Australia makes sense. It seemed like a sensible country with sensible rules. The idea of ‘sensible’ permeates my experience of this wonderful country. Sensibility, Reason,…
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Why Being Excluded Is Powerful
Is this how we learn empathy? Have you ever been excluded? The world can be a pretty exclusive place. Chances are, you’ve experienced this at some point. Being left out sucks. Often, exclusion places us in out-groups that wouldn’t exist without the in-group creating the problem. Dark doesn’t exist without…