KEW Episode 79: Less Struggle, More Calm

Have you ever really thought about what you want? I mean really sat down and asked yourself what you would change if you could?

Maybe you said you want more money.

Less time at work.

More time with family.

Longer vacations.

A bigger house, better car, or fancier smartphone.

If you keep at this long enough, and wish for all the material things, what do you REALLY want?

When I did this sort of iterative practice, I realized one of the main things I really want is more calm.

More calm.

More peace.

More sitting with it.

Less frantic.

Less anxiety.

Less fear and uncertainty.

So, yeah, when I really think about what I want, it is to move more easily through life.

In the sense of buddhism, more calm is less suffering. Less struggle. Less Dis-satisfaction. More calm.

Also, to be more calm as life unfolds before us, as Neil Bjorklund would say.

I wonder to what degree this is something we all want.

Underneath all the material things and the money, there is often a sense of fear or need for safety.

But I still come back to calm. Because life can be scary, fear persists, but in a calm state of mind I feel like I can handle it.

So in this Episode, I talk a bit about how we can find calm and why I think it is fairly universal. I hope you find it helpful.

Please subscribe to Knowledge + Experience = Wisdom where you get your podcasts, or download the audio directly here: https://pdcn.co/e/https://chtbl.com/track/CGDA9D/www.buzzsprout.com/530563/9831575-kew-episode-79-less-struggle-more-calm.mp3?download=true

If you prefer video, you can subscribe to KEW on YouTube: https://youtu.be/I-u9eTiXWrs

I’ll see y’all next week.

Preview KEW Episode 79: Less Struggle, More Calm

Do you have trouble sleeping?

Do you get anxious sometimes?

Is anger part of your normal reaction to unexpected things?

Do tiny little things sometimes irritate the crap out of you?

Most of us struggle to some degree and could use a bit more calm in our lives.

And a lot of this discomfort is normal and unavoidable, but what if we could reduce it a bit? Wouldn’t that be nice?

One of the main goals, one of MY main goals, it to figure out easy ways to do this. Ways to simplify our lives and figure out how to suffer less and be more peaceful.

As KEW moves forward with the Are vs Should Problem, I’m learning a lot about you and what we need in order to live better lives.

This week I expand on Who can benefit from KEW and a bit more about HOW we can find more peace, feel more calm, and reduce the unpleasantness that comes with life.

Full Episode this Friday right here at KEW. Thanks for tuning in.

KEW Episode 56: Domestication

Don Miguel Ruiz, author of many books including ‘The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)‘ uses the term “Domestication” to describe the process by which humans are taught how to live. I have been fascinated by this process, whatever you wish to call it, for as long as I can remember. In fact, I still wonder, often out loud, why no one ever asked whether or not I was agreeing to this social contract. See, we are born into a world that teaches us many things before we even know what’s happening to us.

And a social contract is very much what domestication is like. We are taught so many things. How to eat, how to walk, how to speak, what to believe in, where Santa Claus lives, which religion is best, whether or not skin color matters. . . . The list is infinite. We are TAUGHT these things. Many of these things are opinions, some of them are factual, and very few of them are valuable.

Because some rules are totally important. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Don’t spit at people. Don’t eat raw kittens. So, sure, some of the domestication process is good and even fundamentally necessary to a healthy society.

The PROBLEM IS, that much of the domestication process is not only unnecessary, it’s unfair. And in the context of the Are vs. Should Problem, domestication becomes the Should Bully by teaching us what to think, how to act, and what or whom to believe in.

And the WORST part is, much of this domestication occurs before we can consent. We are, in fact, brainwashed at very early ages to follow the rules. Again, some of this is good, but a lot of it is NOT. But it’s ok, IF we understand this and can go back and edit ourselves, or update what we believe, feel, and do as we grow and change.

The lucky ones, usually in our teenage years but often again in mid life, realize we have learned some weird shit. At certain times in our lives we QUESTION our own beliefs. We get CURIOUS about our thoughts. We WONDER who is really making our decisions. If we’re lucky something encourages us to question WHO WE ARE. It is at these times we have a chance to take back our lives, our minds, and our DNA.

This week I share my thoughts about the Domestication process, discuss the damages caused, and provide a warning about our future. Solutions are necessary and urgent. Please follow this series and help me find some.

Link to podcast download here: https://pdcn.co/e/https://chtbl.com/track/CGDA9D/www.buzzsprout.com/530563/8947786-kew-episode-56-domestication.mp3?download=true

or, please subscribe to the KEW podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, etc.

Link to YouTube video here: https://youtu.be/kVRRKf2zh6k

KEW Curiosity Series Interview 3: DJ Doran

I met DJ Doran when he reached out to interview me about my podcast. We hit it off rather quickly, and of course I had to have him on to discuss Curiosity.

In fact, the whole Curiosity interview series was inspired by DJ!

See, DJ told me my podcast made him curious, and he’s a very curious guy as you’ll see. And I realized that I am driven, in large part, by curiosity. It’s in my daily life, it’s in my music, and it’s in KEW. But I had never thought about it, and certainly hadn’t realized it.

DJ is an amazing guy. After a successful career as a pilot in the Air Force Reserves, he has become a leader and visionary in the LGBTQ community. He has lived on a sailboat. He has a daughter. He’s the model of professionalism, yet super laid back. He’s knowledgeable as hell, but maintains a natural curiosity about the world around us.

Curiosity is funny like that. It isn’t obvious. Some people have it and others don’t seem to care. For people like DJ and me, we sort of automatically bring curiosity into our daily endeavors. We can’t help it. It’s natural. And, as DJ will explain, curiosity can be very nuanced.

Curiosity can be brave. It can be scary. And it carries with it a certain responsibility to grow.

Curiosity can reveal who your real friends are. It is our ally.

But I’m letting my curiosity be too verbose.

To maintain the organic nature of our chat, I include the entire conversation here. I apologize for my audio, which is distorted, but DJ sounds great.

Please explore DJ’s work. You can find links to most of what he does on his facebook site (his podcast) and at Aequalitas media (his media company).

I hope you enjoy listening to or watching the interview as much as we did doing it.

Full podcast audio download here:

or via Stitcher, Spotify, Apple, Google, etc.

Full YouTube video here:

Feel free to click the comment link above and share your thoughts!

Preview: KEW Curiosity Series: Paul Gadola

This week I’ll release the first in a series of interviews about Curiosity starting with my buddy and spiritual confidante, Paul Gadola. Paul lives in my hometown, and though we didn’t really know each other well for several years, we have bonded over our similar paths. Paul has a wealth of Knowledge (and Experience and Wisdom) about all things spiritual and is currently writing a book to share his unique vision. Fortunately he also shares his messages on instagram and facebook and following him will inspire you. There is much to learn from his inclusive approach to spirituality and I’m honored he was open to sharing with us in this series debut.

If you have listened to any of my solo episodes, you already know how Paul has influenced my thinking. One of my favorites is, ‘We all think we’re right’. Just hearing Paul verbalize this statement has softened the way I look at other people in my life – which has been especially helpful during these divisive times. Paul just has that way about him. He is the most peaceful, kind, and ‘chilled out’ dude I’ve met in my adult life and we all can learn a lot from him. Here’s a preview of what’s coming this Friday.

Episode preview here: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=572120573746640

Paul owns Iron Mountain Crossfit gym and his wife, Shelley, runs Sunmeal Prep offering healthy prepared meals. Together they truly embody the mind/body/spirit holistic approach to living a good life – something for us all to aspire to.