Preview KEW Episode 53: Are vs. Should Examples

I’m struggling a bit at the beginning of the Are vs. Should Problem I have been discussing in Episodes 51-53. So far, I have introduced the problem; that we all struggle with the person that we ARE and the person we think we SHOULD BE. I have described the first step toward a solution in taking a Personal Inventory. Next, I tried to begin the process of examining the personal inventory by separating items as being described by Hard and Soft realities. This may not make perfect sense yet, but I promise it will.

In Episode 53, the fourth installment, I share a handful of examples and situations for you to ponder in your own life or others’ lives. Situations where you may experience the dichotomy of Are vs. Should. There are infinite examples, but this is one of those things that our minds, or our Ego, can talk us out of. We protect ourselves from being aware of the Are vs. Should by living in the Should. (I suppose there are those who live in the Are, and I am envious and very curious to know more about those people). The Should mind beats us up. It tells us we are not good enough. It convinces us that people look down on us and that our shortcomings are things we have to cover up or change. The Should mind is a bully.

The Are mind can appear to be a push over, childish, or be hidden from view by the overpowering Should bully. In other words, the Are side of us is sometimes hard to see. The personal inventory is one means of examining ourselves objectively, and determining whether an item or experience or belief belongs on the Are vs. Should side.

Hopefully, this weeks’ Episode will be helpful during the examination process. Full Episode coming Friday.

KEW Curiosity Interview Series 5: Dana Humphrey

I hope you are enjoying this interview series as much as I am. Dana reached out to me because talking about curiosity sounded interesting to her. And she has some new and interesting points to make about the importance of curiosity in our lives. It’s so much fun to listen to other peoples thoughts about how being curious is important to them. We are all unique, and even a simple topic like curiosity can be very diverse.

Danas’ specialty is helping people realize their self worth and to learn better self love practices. She offers several coaching and learning programs to help you move away from imposter syndrome or feeling ‘not good enough’ toward a happier and more relaxed life. She embodies creativity and has some really cool stories about her interests in art and magic. I can totally picture her leading a self love meditation at burning man.

What I find fascinating about Dana is she is leaving behind a successful pet business to follow her purpose. In helping people understand their relationships with their pets (you can find her book, EmBARKing Down the Lease of Codependency here) she realized her role was much bigger. Now she provides guidance and leadership to help us find peace and contentment in all aspects of our lives.

As someone who struggled with codependency, I appreciate Danas’ elegant approach. As she says, we don’t really need much to exist in this world as humans, but without believing in ourselves our lives are not as full. And, moreover, by accepting ourselves for who we are we can reach the highest level of contentment and joy.

You can find out about Danas’ programs and background on her website, but this interview gives you a real look into who she is, how she operates, and what she finds to be most important with respect to self love. I found myself terrifically relaxed listening to her talk. She is not rushed and you can almost see her calmness – and it’s contagious. It is obvious she is good at what she does and I have no doubt a person can find great wisdom in her teachings.

I was extremely fortunate to have our paths cross and know you will learn something from our chat.

Podcast audio download here: https://pdcn.co/e/https://chtbl.com/track/CGDA9D/www.buzzsprout.com/530563/8202613-kew-curiosity-interview-series-5-dana-humphrey.mp3?blob_id=37071637&download=true or via your favorite podcast app.

YouTube video here: https://youtu.be/l3J5lzbBUM8

Preview KEW Episode 42: Safety

One of our basic human needs is to feel safe. I realized recently that I created my own safety as a kid in response to bullying. My thirteen-year-old self built a protective cocoon my bedroom filled with all the things I loved and valued. Maybe all teenagers do this, but looking back at those years I realized how necessary it was. Here’s this kid who’s feeling alone and isolated because he’s being bullied and doesn’t know how to do anything about it. So instead of getting depressed or acting out, he builds a place where he can feel safe, has value, and matters.

And though our lives change as we mature, those longings never go away. As an adult I an no longer bullied but carry the scars of isolation and reduced self-esteem. In some ways I have overcome those issues, yet in other ways I have not. And though i feel safe with my family and friends, I’d really like to feel the safety of my thirteen-year-old bedroom again.

It all makes me wonder, does our need for safety change as we age? Does it ever go away? Should it?

Preview video here: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=353397339094032

Full episode Friday

FLASHBACK! KEW Episode 8: Goals and Accolades

And a little bit about the meaning of life . . . .

Many of us could use a little more self esteem. Yet we continually look for esteem outside ourselves in the external environment.

For me, it was attention from the opposite sex. Or getting hired by a good employer. Or publishing a paper. These things are well and good, but they are also fleeting.

It’s like your mom telling you your handsome. Or when everyone gets a trophy. It’s not our fault.

I struggle to ‘know’ that I am good regardless of my achievements and seek to learn how to self-validate my worth.

All that and more. Preview link here: https://business.facebook.com/kpluseiswise/videos/658581378406198/

Full episode here: https://chrisburcher.com/2020/06/12/episode-8-goals-accolades-and-the-meaning-of-life/