I am extremely excited for you to meet Neil Bjorklund in this week’s Are vs Should Interview Series. Unlike most KEW interviews, I knew Neil prior to having him on KEW. But probably not as well as he knows me, as he is my coach. I have worked with Neil for a little over a year, doing somatic healing work using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model. Neil has all sorts of other training in…
As we figure out exactly what is happening at KEW, which is mostly coming up with workable strategies to help analytical, empathic, and intelligent folks live calmer and more relaxed lives, it’s necessary to state our assumptions and identifying elements. In any good scientific endeavor (and this ISN’T science, but I’m trying to take a standardized and similar APPROACH) it’s nice to state your assumptions up front. It tells the reader/listener/viewer/colleague where your head was…
Neil Bjorklund shares his mind with us this week. Neil works with folks using the ‘Internal Family Systems’ model that I talk about a lot. I am personally working with Neil on my own spiritual journey, as many of you may know. Neil shares a ton of insight ranging from Ecological metaphors about IFS and ‘multiple selves’, to why we think the way we do, to (most importantly) what we can do about it. You…
Have you ever felt like you were hearing multiple voices? Like in the ‘Are vs Should Problem’, there are two voices – the Are and the Should – vying for your attention. Sometimes it’s more than two. Which choice should you make? What will you order off the menu? Which alternate route home will be the quickest at 4:30 PM? All of us hear voices in our heads and they are often conflicting. Unfortunately, this…
You’ve likely pondered the great, ‘Who Am I?’ question. But what about the ‘Why Am I?’ The ‘why’ is a great question no matter the situation. Of the who, what, when, where, why, and how questions the ‘why’ is probably the most challenging. Is there a meaning to life? Do you have a purpose? Does anything matter? Hundreds, if not thousands, of philosophers have weighed in on the great question, but I’m not sure there’s…
Some folks may think this is a silly question. But if you’re reading this you probably think it’s a great question. First, thanks for coming! Second, I ask this question fairly literally as a means of transitioning along the pathway that is The Are vs Should Problem. For the last 25 (twenty-five!) Episodes I have followed my thoughts about the struggle between the person we ARE and the person we feel like we SHOULD BE.…
I recently arrived at the conclusion that I needed more self-compassion. I had heard this so many times I figured it must be true. Only I didn’t really know what self-compassion meant. So I started studying up on it. See, at first I had self-compassion confused with self-PITY. I didn’t want to sit around feeling sorry for myself all the time. Or, maybe it’s because I DID sit around feeling sorry for myself sometimes and…
You think you know what stress is, but do you? I think the term ‘stress’ is oversimplified. Sure, sometimes just venting ‘I’m stressed!’ is helpful to get some of the negative energy out, let people know how you are generally feeling, or explain your behavior. But ‘stress’ is so overused, so ambiguous, and so cliche. And I only mention that because that means the word is losing it’s meaning. Also, because stress is often a…
I learned about the personal inventory reading Carlos Castaneda’s book series about Don Juan and the Toltec ‘men and women of knowledge’. The idea of a personal inventory describes the process of examining one’s total life from every possible angle. By looking inward and examining one’s life, we can summarize all the things that we have done, what has happened to us, our system of beliefs, and what comprises our ‘self’. This is a metaphysical…
To close out the 10-part Curiosity interview series, the first on KEW, I reflect on the 9 interesting people I got to talk to. I asked everyone what role Curiosity had played in their lives and how it helped get them to where they are today. I am grateful and amazed that these folks would spend some time with us. I know some people want to promote, but everyone had something unique to say about…