FLASHBACK! KEW Episode 54: The Bully and Your DNA (Part 1)

In this flashback Episode I separated the two main elements from the Are vs Should Problem. The Bully is the ‘Shoulds’, those voices in your head telling you to do things a certain way, follow a specific path, or make a decision that jibes with an influential element in your life. In Part 2, I talk about the ‘are’ which I argue is inherent in our DNA.

The idea of ‘shoulds’ is pretty common in therapy. ‘Shoulds’ are things we tell ourselves we are ‘supposed’ to do, or have to do based on membership to some group or allegiance to some system of thinking and behaving.

You ‘should’ go to church every Sunday.

You ‘should’ forgive your partner for being a jerk.

You ‘should’ attend every single one of your kids’ soccer games.

You ‘should’ not eat a second piece of pie.

You ‘should’ think white people are better than nonwhite people.

You know what I mean. Some people even use the phrase ‘shouldding all over ourselves’ to describe how we beat ourselves up with the ‘shoulds’. This is a key element in self-help in learning how to be self-compassionate.

So in Part 1 of the Bully vs Your DNA mini series I talk all about the ‘shoulds’. Where they come from. What they mean. And why the aren’t really our true nature.

Being aware of, and even resisting the ‘shoulds’ is critical to personal growth and understanding who you really are.

I hope you enjoy this episode.

The original post with links to the full podcast audio and YouTube video is here: https://chrisburcher.com/2021/07/16/kew-episode-54-the-bully-and-your-dna-part-1/

Preview KEW Episode 47: Changing Behavior Changes Beliefs

It literally took me ten years to figure this one out. After nearly a decade of Cognitive Behavioral and psychological therapies, I had figured out my brain, my issues, and what I needed with respect to personal growth and mastering my limiting beliefs. The problem was, I wasn’t seeing the changes I wanted.

Sure, learning about and understanding myself and other people had it’s benefits and made me feel better. But nothing about ME was really changing except for my knowledge. My equation was unbalanced. All K, no E.

So the Experience has to come in somewhere.

And what I’ve learned – over the past ten years but mores recently – is that our minds don’t really change as a result of thinking.

Our minds change because of our actions.

Preview video here: https://fb.watch/5fROVEZiGN/

Full episode this Friday at http://www.chrisburcher.com

KEW Episode 35: Beyond Science

Before I ‘retired’ to stay home with my kids I was an academic research scientist. I taught classes, advised students, and led a research lab. I was pretty successful. The only reason I share that is to say I feel like I’ve earned the right to explain what science is, and what it ISN’T. In Episode 1 I shared a bit about what science is, and now I want to talk about what it is not.

Science is very good at asking questions about things we can measure, but it isn’t very good at addressing the unmeasurable things. Like emotions, intelligence (even though we try with the IQ), colors, music . . . Some things just don’t fit into the scientific method. And that’s OK! Some things, many things actually, are measured indirectly and sort of forced to fit into science, and that’s ok, too. Take my former scientific field, ecology, for example. Many ecosystems can’t be replicated (there’s only one Earth), so ecology doesn’t fit exactly into hypothesis testing and statistics, but we do it anyway. Science is pretty robust, but there are still things outside the realm of investigation via the scientific method.

So what do we do? Well, there’s metaphysics, a field which I know little to nothing about. But I like the idea of metaphysics because it’s ‘beyond’ physics. And physics is arguably one of the most advanced fields of science. So, metaphysics goes beyond physics but with an appreciation and understanding of the underlying principles of particles and such.

But I think calling it metaphysics, if I’m anywhere close to understanding what it is, is probably not necessary. I think we all understand, at least a little, that science can’t do everything. So we probably also accept that there are other forms of thinking that are totally acceptable.

The major difference I see, between scientific thinking and ‘other kinds of ‘ thinking, is the standardization procedures. If anyone can just ‘think’ their way through problems, how do you know what is accurate? How many hair-brained things have you heard people say? Are all of our ideas really just opinions? There has to be someway to filter through the crummy thinking to get to the good stuff. How do we determine what’s good?

While that question may be another podcast in and of itself, in Episode 35 I offer my thoughts about how we go about non-scientific thinking as a community. Similar to science we must peer-review each other’s thoughts through a traditional discourse. I long for a world where structured thinking about metaphysical subject is widespread and follows a systematic approach developed cooperatively by all of us.

Podcast download link here: https://pdcn.co/e/https://chtbl.com/track/CGDA9D/www.buzzsprout.com/530563/6975298-kew-episode-35-beyond-science.mp3?blob_id=29706826&download=true or via your favorite podcast app.

YouTube video here: https://youtu.be/Daii2LHwlBg

Preview KEW Episode 35: Beyond Science. Metaphysics?

During my brief stint as a philosophy major I really wanted to learn about Metaphysics. Mostly because I thought it sounded cool, but I really knew nothing about it. I’m not sure much has changed in that respect. But I was thinking recently about things that can’t be explained using the scientific method, like Self and Soul (KEW Episodes 33 and 34) and, well, this led to Episode 35.

Science is great, but it was designed to measure things. And those things have to be measureABLE. Quantifiable. So we can use math. Physics might be the crowing achievement of the sciences (but they’re all good) but just can’t do it all. So I think of metaphysics as being beyond physics – beyond the best science into a new realm

In the Soul episode I wondered aloud whether particles might have some precursor to awareness, and that this might lead to awareness when organized into a human mind. As with most ideas I have, I’m not the first one to offer this theory, but it was new to me at the time. The alternative, of course, is that particles do NOT have any awareness and that human consciousness or awareness is unique, and maybe magical. Either way this isn’t a question science can answer. Very well, if at all.

I’m sure I’ll keep pushing into the soul/self/awareness/consciousness space because I find it interesting. But first, a bit about what science can and can’t do, and a plea for more philosophy.

Preview video here: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=450945185901457

Full Episode this Friday.

KEW Preview Episode 24: Religion

This week I share my history and thoughts about Religion. I intended to make my way to Buddhism, but ran out of time so will save that for a future episode.

In short, I grew up without religion and have been allowed to make my own decisions. This week I share where I arrived.

Let me know your thoughts!

Facebook video link: https://business.facebook.com/kpluseiswise/videos/731358670927825/