Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me Do you remember this nursery rhyme? When I was younger, I believed it. I thought I would rather be yelled at than physically harmed. While I feel lucky to have received more verbal bullying than actual butt-kickings, I’m not so sure the damage was less harmful. As an adult, I realize words have real power and do a lot of harm on…
Meditation for your middle-of-the-night worries Do you follow the weather? You know, do you check the forecast to see what it’s going to be like outside? Do you appreciate meteorologists? Or beat up on them? It probably depends on whether the forecasts are accurate. And they are accurate a lot of the time. Meteorologists go to school to learn how to be good forecasters. But most of us have zero training in predicting the future.…
A lot of people may have an issue with this Episode. I really don’t have a feel for how many people believe we are all connected. KEW Episode 10 focused on the idea of Connectedness, but I don’t know if it is a popular concept. To me it is obvious that we are both individuals and also connected. Call it the dual nature of humans. Or dualism. Or individualism AND communism. Any kind of ism.…
Do you struggle with relationships? I did for a long time. I went through a divorce in 2010 and that kickstarted an interesting adventure in dating and thinking about companionship in general. Luckily, I met a wonderful woman and remarried. But the five years I spent uncoupled were hard, to say the least. Antia Boyd helps women figure out why they struggle with relationships. Whether you struggle with relationships or not, there is universal learning…
I recently had the pleasure of being interviewed by Desiree Argentina on her podcast ‘AccordingtoDes‘. The Episode title is ‘How IFS Can Help You Overcome Anxiety and Depression’ and goes into my history with therapy and my struggles with mindset/mental health. Des was so easy to talk to and the rest of her episodes look awesome. She has a huge prescence on TikTok, as well. Here is her summary of our interview: “Chris explains that…
It is my pleasure to introduce you to Stephanie Mitchell this week. Stephanie is a psychotherapist, trainer, and consultant residing in beautiful Adelaide, Australia. She primarily works with complex trauma and psychosis and is very much focused on using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model to help people live better lives. I met Stephanie on a facebook IFS group and she graciously agreed to talk with us about IFS. You can get a glimpse of…
I am extremely excited for you to meet Neil Bjorklund in this week’s Are vs Should Interview Series. Unlike most KEW interviews, I knew Neil prior to having him on KEW. But probably not as well as he knows me, as he is my coach. I have worked with Neil for a little over a year, doing somatic healing work using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model. Neil has all sorts of other training in…
As we figure out exactly what is happening at KEW, which is mostly coming up with workable strategies to help analytical, empathic, and intelligent folks live calmer and more relaxed lives, it’s necessary to state our assumptions and identifying elements. In any good scientific endeavor (and this ISN’T science, but I’m trying to take a standardized and similar APPROACH) it’s nice to state your assumptions up front. It tells the reader/listener/viewer/colleague where your head was…
Being confused is no fun. Think about a time in your life when you have conflicting things going on. Maybe it’s whether or not to leave your job. Or break up with a partner. Or to have kids or not. As humans there is a lot of this cognitive dissonance. When you feel split into two or more pathways. Or two or more personalities. In the 80’s we would joke about being ‘crazy’, having ‘multiple…
Remember that time when everything seemed perfectly clear? Yeah, me neither. But once in awhile things DO seem clear. And it feels good. There’s no doubt (Episode 28) and things just make sense. Though these moments are fleeting, I think we can learn to maximize the amount of clarity we see in our lives. And by clarity I mean more the ABSENCE of stuff rather than the PRESENCE of something. Clarity, to me, is really…