KEW Episode 48: Unlearning

As I move toward Episode 50 and what I hope to be a major shift in what I’m working toward with KEW, I realize how important Unlearning is. 

How do we KNOW if we REALLY know what we THINK we know?

Well, we don’t. But we can think about it. And unlearning comes in to play as a necessary ‘next step’ for those of us who have ever asked this kind of question. Or questions like:

Who am I?
What’s all this about?
What’s the meaning of life?
Is there life after death?
Why is my dad so racist?

Generally, Unlearning is only important to people who have ever wondered WHY they feel a certain way, think a certain way, or behave a certain way. Where did this ‘certain way’ come from? I’ll develop this idea much further after episode 50, but for now let’s say that MUCH of what we think, what we ARE, WHO we are comes from stuff we never really thought much about. Things we automatically learned as we grew up. Some of it we learned before we even had awareness. Or free will. Some of us carry these beliefs into adulthood. Some of us never know.

But for those of us who DO know. Who have asked these types of questions (who ARE you?). The first thing we have to do is recognize what we really KNOW and FEEL and BELIEVE and what’s just a bunch of stuff we learned. And then to sort of ‘wipe the slate clean’ and start over. That’s where UNLEARNING comes in. That’s all I’m saying when I say UNLEARN.

It’s about questioning our beliefs and our thoughts. It’s about figuring out what we DO think and believe. And about getting on the path toward exploring what life is all about. It’s pretty simple.

I hope you enjoy this week’s episode and stick around for what’s to come. Please follow me on my blog and/or YouTube and SIGN UP for weekly emails so you can participate in the development of these ideas.

Direct link to podcast audio: https://pdcn.co/e/https://chtbl.com/track/CGDA9D/www.buzzsprout.com/530563/8549500-kew-episode-48-unlearning.mp3?download=true

And PLEASE follow me on Spotify, Apple podcasts, Google play, or whichever app you use.

Direct link to YouTube video: https://youtu.be/TKpJgTCnDeY

KEW Episode 47: Changing Behavior Changes Beliefs

Beliefs are things we see as truisms in our lives and regulate the decisions we make. In Episode 9 I talked about Old Beliefs. These are beliefs we learned as kids that protected us in some way, but no longer serve their purpose in our adult lives. The problem is, the old beliefs have been habituated and we continue to implement them.

Many of us become aware of our old or limiting beliefs in adulthood. Things like anxiety, imposter syndrome, feeling not good enough, addictions, relationships – all these things are, at least in part, learned when we were kids.

But I’ve talked at length about beliefs and how they hold us back. This episode is about how we change those old beliefs.

Changing beliefs has been very difficult for me. But that makes sense if you think about it. Limiting beliefs are usually old (hence the terminology), which means they’ve been with us for awhile. And during that time, these beliefs have been reinforced any time a situation comes up requiring you to make a decision. We refer back to a similar situation, remember whatever belief worked then, and simply apply it again. And again. And again. Pretty soon this process is automatic and habituated (See Episode 26: Habits). So these beliefs were acquired over time with much repetition.

So, of course changing them is hard. It’s logical to think that whatever time and energy went into building the belief would be required to change it. And as frustrating as that is, it may be accurate.

I tried to change my old beliefs for a decade, but I didn’t get satisfactory results. I learned about beliefs. I learned what my limiting beliefs are. I even learned where some of them came from. But I thought that the awareness of the beliefs would somehow be enough to change them. But it’s not.

I understood beliefs INTELLECTUALLY, but I wasn’t DOING anything about them. I needed to ACT. And those actions are multifaceted.

My research, therapy, coaching, and learning has led me to a list of actions that anyone can implement to change their thinking. The list is going to look very familiar and maybe even make you roll your eyes. It turns out the changing beliefs is really simple – it just isn’t easy.

Behaviors that can help you change beliefs:

Meditation

Mindfulness

Journalling

Speaking daily affirmations

Exercise

Gratitude

You can even add sleeping and eating well to this list, but those aren’t habits or actions I personally struggle with.

The point is, I have finally starting to believe (haha) that the above list, frequently touted by self-help and personal growth folks from all schools of thought, might actually produce the results I am looking for. So I’m on a mission to add them to my life slowly but deliberately and see if it works.

I go in to more detail about how and why in this Episode.

Podcast audio download here: https://pdcn.co/e/https://chtbl.com/track/CGDA9D/www.buzzsprout.com/530563/8460339-kew-episode-47-changing-behaviors-changes-beliefs.mp3?download=true

or please subscribe to KEW on your favorite podcast app.

Full YouTube video here: https://youtu.be/06sqJWeHtTc

KEW Episode 15: Rat Racer

Are you a Rat Racer? You know, someone who wholeheartedly embraces the rat race? We’re all born having made unconscious agreements to run the race to get good grades, get a good job, make a lot of money, marry the right person, etc., etc. but do we every really stop and ask ourselves if it’s worth it?

Cuz like Lily Tomlin said, even if you win the rat race, you’re still a rat.

In this episode I argue that the rat race, if you actually perform well and make enough money, you can at least feel SAFE, meaning you meet all your basic biological needs. But what about your emotional needs? What about being loved and belonging? The rat race doesn’t even address those things – unless you believe that money can buy them. And, well, the Beatles say they can’t, so there’s that.

I hope you agree that we need to improve our system if we want to live fulfilled lives, and I even offer a few ways we can do that. Hope you enjoy and leave me some comments if you like!

Podcast audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/530563/4764539-kew-episode-15-rat-racer.mp3?blob_id=18919232&download=true

Youtube video: https://youtu.be/TdnM-lQqvqs