Tag: personal growth

KEW Curiosity Interview Series 5: Dana Humphrey

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I hope you are enjoying this interview series as much as I am. Dana reached out to me because talking about curiosity sounded interesting to her. And she has some new and interesting points to make about the importance of curiosity in our lives. It’s so much fun to listen to other peoples thoughts about how being curious is important to them. We are all unique, and even a simple topic like curiosity can be very diverse.

Danas’ specialty is helping people realize their self worth and to learn better self love practices. She offers several coaching and learning programs to help you move away from imposter syndrome or feeling ‘not good enough’ toward a happier and more relaxed life. She embodies creativity and has some really cool stories about her interests in art and magic. I can totally picture her leading a self love meditation at burning man.

What I find fascinating about Dana is she is leaving behind a successful pet business to follow her purpose. In helping people understand their relationships with their pets (you can find her book, EmBARKing Down the Lease of Codependency here) she realized her role was much bigger. Now she provides guidance and leadership to help us find peace and contentment in all aspects of our lives.

As someone who struggled with codependency, I appreciate Danas’ elegant approach. As she says, we don’t really need much to exist in this world as humans, but without believing in ourselves our lives are not as full. And, moreover, by accepting ourselves for who we are we can reach the highest level of contentment and joy.

You can find out about Danas’ programs and background on her website, but this interview gives you a real look into who she is, how she operates, and what she finds to be most important with respect to self love. I found myself terrifically relaxed listening to her talk. She is not rushed and you can almost see her calmness – and it’s contagious. It is obvious she is good at what she does and I have no doubt a person can find great wisdom in her teachings.

I was extremely fortunate to have our paths cross and know you will learn something from our chat.

Podcast audio download here: https://pdcn.co/e/https://chtbl.com/track/CGDA9D/www.buzzsprout.com/530563/8202613-kew-curiosity-interview-series-5-dana-humphrey.mp3?blob_id=37071637&download=true or via your favorite podcast app.

YouTube video here: https://youtu.be/l3J5lzbBUM8

FLASHBACK! KEW Episode 25: I Suck At. . .

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In hindsight the title of this Episode might not have been the best idea, but my intentions are good. Here I share with you some of my imperfections and struggles in hopes that you can relate. We are so good at beating ourselves up, but here I try to view my flaws with compassion and to be held accountable for my self improvement.

Most of us are on some sort of journey toward becoming better people, and KEW is my attempt to document my own journey for you to relate to. As I argue in Episode 43: Diversity and Uniqueness, our unique journeys are critical to human evolution and it is our duty to discover who we are.

Preview video here: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=788972585335492

Original post and links to full episode here: https://chrisburcher.com/2020/10/16/kew-episode-25-i-suck-at/

Kew Episode 42: Safety

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Recently I discovered, or I guess RE-discovered, my 13 year old self around the time I moved from Georgia to Ohio. I figured this was an important time in my life and have always wondered how it might have affected me. By exploring my feelings and thoughts, from my heart instead of my mind, I remembered my bedroom and what it represented.

I realized that I had created this spot, at least partly, in response to some experiences with the outside world. See, I was bullied quite a bit as a kid. And I’m not looking for sympathy about that, I’m trying to illustrate how life-changing being bullied can be and hopefully relate to others that have had similar experiences or know people who have.

I had constructed a safe place where I could be me because sometimes being me in the real world was painful. What’s super cool about this, is realizing what a healthy response to bullying this was! Our reactions to negative experiences can be all kinds of things, good and bad, but creating a safe place seems to be at the top of the good list. Instead of changing who I was, I just protected it – and continued to be myself, but in an environment I could control.

The downside is that I never really dealt with being bullied, and I isolated myself from a lot of outside experiences. Because my room was so safe, I spent a lot of time there while my peers were doing social activities. This, of course, isn’t all bad, but i carried some of those fears into adulthood. I also learned to identify myself as a lone wolf and continued to seek safety by isolating myself.

The universal lesson here is how much we need to feel safe, and that when we aren’t we can create actual safe spaces but also the illusion of safety. On the good side there are things like creating a comfortable home and family environment where people we love know who we are and around whom we can be ourselves. The bad side is turning to alcohol, drugs, porn, gambling, or whatever to create the illusion of control or safety. I guess I’m pretty lucky that this 13 year old kid made some pretty decent decisions.

How about you? Do you have safety in your life?

Podcast audio download here: https://pdcn.co/e/https://chtbl.com/track/CGDA9D/www.buzzsprout.com/530563/8020573-kew-episode-42-safety.mp3?blob_id=36014412&download=true or via your favorite podcast app.

YouTube video here: https://youtu.be/0APL404G-N4

KEW Curiosity Series Interview 2: Mandy Napier

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Mandy Napier resides in Australia where she shares her thirteen years of experience as the ‘mindset alchemist’, a high performance mindset and executive coach (and via zoom, obviously). She has represented Australia in the international Iron Man competition in Hawaii. After being forced to give up her sport, she focused on getting herself unstuck. She now shares how she did it directly with clients, via several books including, “Creating Healthy Life Habits“, and in myriad articles and videos. You can find all of that and more on her website Mindset for Success.

I learned about Mandy when I started Googling people who seemed Curious. I stumbled upon an article she wrote “Why Curiosity is the Essential Skill to Build Right Now“, which I thought was a screaming testimonial to the importance of being curious. She appeared to be well versed in coaching, neuroscience, and psychology. Her writing was convincing, and she quoted Einstein. And upon my invitation she agreed to an interview!

The interview stumbled a bit at first due to internet issues on my end, and I had to relocate to my bathroom, of all places, to get a better connection. Mandy waited and remained unphased, which somehow rubbed off on me. Normally I could have let something like that throw me. This was, after all my first interview with someone I didn’t know. Her energy is intoxicating. Her confidence is obvious. And she is enthusiastic to help people change. The interview was, as you’ll see, pretty amazing.

Full disclosure, I enjoyed Mandy so much that I am now a client. In few weeks she has taken me farther than years of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT, talk therapy). Mandy has a system. A well earned, tested, and authentic set of tools to take control of your life and get unstuck. So far, so good.

You will take something away from what Mandy shares here. Mandy is every bit the ‘Iron Woman’ she always was, but now she can help you change YOUR life. Please check out her links, her articles, her videos, and reach out to her if you are looking for help. Especially if you are currently doing therapy or in a program that doesn’t seem to be helping. Enjoy, and thanks for watching or listening.

Podcast audio download here: https://pdcn.co/e/https://chtbl.com/track/CGDA9D/www.buzzsprout.com/530563/7930585-kew-curiosity-interview-series-2-mandy-napier.mp3?blob_id=35470180&download=true or via your favorite podcast app.

YouTube video here: https://youtu.be/EBPEPqu71Gw

Preview KEW Curiosity series: Mandy Napier

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I am so lucky to have met Mandy Napier. I stumbled upon her when Google searching for Curiosity. She had published an article called “Why Curiosity is the Essential Skill to Build Right Now“. I reached out to her, thinking she could share with us how Curiosity had influenced her life. The results are beyond my expectations.

Mandy is a champion ironman competitor and has represented Australia in international competition. When forced to give up her sport, she turned inward to ‘figure herself out’ and learn how to get unstuck. Now she shares her mastery by helping others unstick themselves. Through the vehicle of curiosity this interview will inspire you to achieve for yourself.

Preview video here: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=266160138241179

Full Episode coming this Friday to http://www.chrisburcher.com

Mandy’s website/homebase: Mindset For Success

Preview KEW Episode 41: State of the Podcast

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I figured I’d take a little time to check in about where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m going. A little over a year ago KEW was just an idea. I felt compelled to learn how to podcast and embrace the digital age. I was missing teaching and wanted to share my experience with an audience. I knew nothing about podcasting, websites, or YouTube. In fact, though I have been an avid podcast listener, I sort of shunned YouTube because it seemed to be so ubiquitous with the young and I’m pushing 50. But I decided instead to see what all the fuss was about.

I was pretty unclear about my audience and mission, but it is revealing itself over time. I think 40 Episodes is long enough to realize I am committed and will continue to put out content on a regular basis. I came to understand 50 minutes may be a bit long so I’ve shortened my episodes to 20. I have also added interviews to broaden my reach.

In fact, I now see that part of my original mission, to build a discourse and community, was a bit naive. I have learned that community already exists and doesn’t need to be built. As such, I am not making a concerted effort to network with the existing community of like-minded-thinkers and have added Linkedin and am considering Medium as networking outlets.

My content continues to follow my inspiration, and as I am now receiving healing and training from TWO mindset and somatic healers (call them coaches if you must), I have more material to work with than ever.

I have several Curiosity interviews edited and ready for release. I will likely release an interview episode about once a month or every three weeks, with regular episodes on other weeks.

I hope you are enjoying the content and I am very much open to criticism and feedback, as always feel free to email me at kpluseiswise@gmail.com any time!

Thanks for reading, listening, and being curious.

-Chris

Preview video here: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=533622710944681

KEW Episode 40: Get Out of Your Head!

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Figures like the one below have been shared many times from many sources. The point is that we, as humans, are comprised of three key components; Head, Heart, and Gut that interact to make up a whole person. When these parts are out of synch, we experience cognitive dissonance, the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change. A simpler explanation is just to say we are ‘out of whack’.

Though I understand this concept intellectually, it is only recently that I have learned to connect with my Heart and Gut. I have turned a corner in my therapy and coaching. I am learning to place my awareness on these other parts, to shift it from my mind, and to ‘check in’ with my intuitive and emotional elements. I naively believed that intellectual understanding would result in connectivity and I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Though I can’t yet coach you or explain how to do this, I can say that it is fairly easy to shift your awareness (for example, during meditation) to your Heart and Gut, and that simply doing this will prepare you for action when the situation arises. A big chunk of the battle is simply knowing how to be aware of your parts.

We spend so much time in our heads we create, and live in, a state of cognitive dissonance. I would personally like to change that and maybe this episode will help you get on that path.

Full audio podcast here: https://pdcn.co/e/https://chtbl.com/track/CGDA9D/www.buzzsprout.com/530563/7660567-kew-episode-40-get-out-of-your-head.mp3?blob_id=33873082&download=true

or via your favorite podcast app (I’ve switched from Stitcher to Spotify as of late)

Full YouTube video here: https://youtu.be/BY_PzOlRfU0

Preview KEW Episode 40: Get Out of Your Head!

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I realized recently that I have spent nearly ten years in therapy. And it was pointed out to me by upcoming interviewee, Mandy Napier (The Mindset Alchemist) that this is too long to have not made much progress. In my defense, I have made A LOT of progress intellectually. But intellectual understanding hasn’t facilitated major changes in my beliefs, habits, and feelings. Mandy, as well as Neil Bjorklund, pointed out to me that my brain is only part of the puzzle and I need to connect with the ‘rest of me’.

The ‘rest of me’, as I had learned years ago, also includes my heart and my gut – my intuitive and emotional ‘feelings’ toward my situation, decision, or approaches. I am now learning HOW to connect with those parts – because it is much, much different than connecting with my mind. I will argue this week that MOST of us don’t remember how to connect with our ‘whole selves’, rather, we spend most of our time in our heads.

Here’s a preview: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=454529232584503

full Episode this Friday.

FLASHBACK! Episode 19: Addiction

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I’ve been addicted to nicotine since I was around 15 years old. Ten years of cigarettes, traded those for dip tobacco for another decade, and have chewed nicotine gum on and off since it has been available without prescription. I say I have a nicotine addiction, but it’s really about the habit more than anything. I’m addicted to the part of my identity that says I’m addicted to nicotine.

In this episode I bring in many other examples. Some familiar like tobacco or alcohol, and others you might not think of as addictions. More than anything, I think we’re addicted to our beliefs and habits. But we can break those things! We can rebuild, and recast ourselves in new identities. Which is a big part of what KEW is about.

If you’re addicted to something, or if you think you aren’t, I hope you gain some insight from a listen or a view. Thanks for sharing!

Video preview: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=404313957527849

Link to original post: https://chrisburcher.com/2020/09/04/kew-episode-19-addiction/

KEW Episode 39: The Growth Fallacy

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With respect to economics, people often say that you have to grow to stay in business. I heard this a lot when I tried to run my business at a static level of production (i.e., no growth). I found that we actually HAD MORE MONEY left over when we controlled expenses and held production at the level of demand. I discovered that we spent so much money on growth that we were more profitable when we didn’t have those line items. Imagine that!

So it bugs me when people adhere to that mantra: Grow or Die! It not only doesn’t make sense, it can be detrimental.

Take human population size. The more people, the more resources are consumed, and the more damage is done to our home. Now, we could certainly do this differently, but there is a concept called Carrying Capacity that says any population in a given area can only be as large as the resources available to support it.

So growth can be bad.

Now, I’m only talking about growth that consumes resources here. Personal growth. Learning. Musical ability. There are many types of growth that are healthy and, I believe, essential to humanity. But when considering consumptive growth, we absolutely have to start accounting for true resource use – after all, accounting is a critical part of business, right? And I argue that we have done some pretty poor accounting when it comes to big business and the environment.

Podcast download: https://pdcn.co/e/https://chtbl.com/track/CGDA9D/www.buzzsprout.com/530563/7398811-kew-episode-39-the-growth-fallacy.mp3?blob_id=32331385&download=true

Or, I’m on most of the podcast servers like Stitcher or Apple Podcasts.

YouTube video link: https://youtu.be/n2rGWiVQx3c