You ever look up at the stars at night and feel really small? Somehow gazing up a the vast emptiness of space, and realizing that these teeny little blips are actually ginormous stars is humbling. I hope you enjoy that feeling as much as I do. Most humans, however, don’t really ‘get’ the vastness of space. The range of size from tiny atoms up to the entire universe is immense. So immense, I argue, that…
In 2010 I discontinued my use of all social media. I did so to avoid the pain of the he-said, she-said comments associated with my divorce, as part of my healing. It was extremely helpful and I did not miss social media in any way. In 2020 I waded back into the swamp of Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, etc. to support my new blog, podcast, and video series. Because I thought I needed to. Over…
Do you seek balance in your life, or do you go all-in on things you like? I used to think everyone wanted balance, and had a moderate approach to all things in order to maintain that balance across their varied interests. Given that there are only so many hours in a day, it’s hard to do all the things we love to do – or even the things we don’t want to do! But I…
Has anyone ever told you to turn off your analytical mind? Or to use your intuition? I’m lucky to have a coach that constantly asks my analytical self to step aside. The space that remains, sans analysis, is incredibly interesting. And I think it’s where intuition lives. In fact, I’d say my idea of intuition was inaccurate. I guess I thought of it like a hunch. Or a tingly spidey sense. I’m not really sure…
If you don’t like this question, you aren’t alone. Not many people like talking about, much less admitting, what they are afraid of. But I have found, in my work and over a decade meeting with therapists and coaches, that fear is a HUGE motivator. It turns out that a lot of our behaviors and beliefs are rooted in fears. In the Internal Family Systems model, we talk about ‘parts’ of ourselves that are born…
I know, I know. You’re not afraid of anything. None of us are, right? But if you are willing to let down your guard, I think you will see that, like everyone else, there are things that scare you. In fact, I argue that many of our issues, problems, and stresses are ultimately caused by fear. The problem is, this isn’t obvious. Usually we get mad about something, or feel judged by someone, or blame…
Toxic masculinity. The #metoo movement. Sexual harassment throughout the headlines. Cancel culture. What is a person to do? Are the gender definitions changing? Surely they are. Most words and things do change (and in these two episodes I argue for why this is natural and critical: https://chrisburcher.com/2021/09/03/kew-episode-61-the-are-vs-should-problem-change-is-hard-but-resisting-change-is-wrong/, https://chrisburcher.com/2021/09/10/kew-episode-62-change-cont/), so why wouldn’t our definitions of masculinity, femininity, and everything in between? But I’m a male and that’s what I know and have at least a limited…
You’re probably like, ‘mind control, what’s this guy talking about?’ Either he’s going to tell us how we need to get in our heads and understand what’s going on, or he’s going to talk about how the algorithm has us under its spell. It reminds me of this scene from Monsters, Inc: This week I’m taking about the first thing. Although I’m a huge fan of getting out from under the algorithms, I think that…
Quick show of hands. Who among us has ever been told they should journal? Even though this is a ‘should’ statement, people who say ‘you should journal’ mean well. I’ll say it, and I mean well. But I’ll say it without using the word ‘should’. You will benefit from journaling. If that sounds like a money-back guarantee, it’s the closest thing you can get for free. But also remember, free advice is worth what you…
Some folks may think this is a silly question. But if you’re reading this you probably think it’s a great question. First, thanks for coming! Second, I ask this question fairly literally as a means of transitioning along the pathway that is The Are vs Should Problem. For the last 25 (twenty-five!) Episodes I have followed my thoughts about the struggle between the person we ARE and the person we feel like we SHOULD BE.…