One of our basic human needs is to feel safe. I realized recently that I created my own safety as a kid in response to bullying. My thirteen-year-old self built a protective cocoon my bedroom filled with all the things I loved and valued. Maybe all teenagers do this, but looking back at those years I realized how necessary it was. Here’s this kid who’s feeling alone and isolated because he’s being bullied and doesn’t know how to do anything about it. So instead of getting depressed or acting out, he builds a place where he can feel safe, has value, and matters.
And though our lives change as we mature, those longings never go away. As an adult I an no longer bullied but carry the scars of isolation and reduced self-esteem. In some ways I have overcome those issues, yet in other ways I have not. And though i feel safe with my family and friends, I’d really like to feel the safety of my thirteen-year-old bedroom again.
It all makes me wonder, does our need for safety change as we age? Does it ever go away? Should it?
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