If I’ve said it once by now, I’ve said it a thousand times:
It blows my mind that any two people can have a conversation and walk away feeling understood AND having understood the other person with any degree of accuracy.
In other words, our communication sucks.
We often hear something other than the other person’s intent.
And how often have you had a conversation and then have to have the same one AGAIN because the person thought you meant something else?
And, if you think about it, given the complexity of communication beyond simple language, why SHOULD we understand each other?
Hell, most of the time we don’t even understand OURSELVES, much less be able to explain it to someone else.
Communication is hard.
And my therapist recently introduced me to a psychologist named Marshall Rosenberg and his ‘nonviolent communication’. In this video, I introduce his way of talking to each other which makes so much sense.
SO MUCH SENSE. In fact, I kind of feel like I have fallen all the way back to square one in my personal growth. It turns out I really don’t even understand my own feelings.
Nonviolent communication consists of 4 basic parts:
— Observing instead of evaluating. What is going on?
— Identifying the emotion we are feeling.
— Identifying the basic need underneath that feeling that isn’t being met.
— Making a request of the other person.
This simple process is so far from easy. It’s a lot of work. Just getting past the first two steps is nearly impossible.
Listen to this episode, check out Dr. Rosenberg’s YouTube videos and/or books, and see how much you don’t know about yourself.
I am amazed at how much I don’t know. But excited to learn!!