If you think about any element in your life you can probably see an example of the Are vs Should Problem.
Sometimes it looks like indecision or Analysis Paralysis (and see Episode 11: Analysis Paralysis).
Other times it feels like frustration or anger.
In my experience I feel like I am ‘of two minds’ where I hear two competing voices telling me to do entirely different things.
What are the important elements in your life?
Family?
- Should you go to the ballet recital or out with your friends?
Career?
- Should you take the high paying job in a big city or the modest pay in a rural town?
Hobbies?
- Can I afford to buy new golf clubs or put the money toward my kids college fund?
Money?
- Save or spend?
Love?
- Is this about lust or building a life together?
The most obvious example to me is about our jobs and careers.
I believe if you think about any of these things you will feel for yourself that *pull* between the two sides. Almost like the proverbial devil and angel on your shoulder telling you what to do.
Many of us want to paint. Or act. Or write. Or play professional sports.
But the vast majority talk ourselves out of those paths in lieu of a safer route to make enough money to survive.
Because we feel like we *SHOULD* do that.
And many of us then hit midlife, look at ourselves and wonder how the hell we got here.
Here’s the original post with links to the full podcast audio download and the YouTube video: https://chrisburcher.com/2021/07/09/kew-episode-53-are-vs-should-examples/
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